“Vegas Super Bowl weekend” is not a destination. “Vegas Super Bowl Weekend” is not an event. “Vegas Super Bowl weekend” is pumped in oxygen, no sense of time, greed, sweat, booze, and flashing lights that lead grown men and women to go sleepless, set new standards for over consumption and hallucinate. I just had the “Vegas Super Bowl Weekend” experience and I hallucinated that Eli Manning led the Giants to a victory with 35 seconds to go.
It is embarrassing to publicly admit I had a hallucination, as they are the subjected to public ridicule. But I swear I was at the Mirage VIP Super Bowl party. I drank quite a bit even though I had E Coli poisoning from a week in Mexico. I am not sure when the visions started, but suddenly I saw Brady getting sacked left and right. The Patriots offensive line has 3 pro bowlers, this obviously did not happen. Brady does not scream at his own offensive line. But I thought I saw this. It was scary.
After I blacked out and began hallucinating the Super Bowl, Eli Manning kept dropping back to pass and making good decisions. Eli Manning did not throw any bad interceptions, take any bad sacks, or have to burn timeouts in the 3rd quarter. Man, I was wasted!
I briefly came back to my senses. Brady ripped down the field with a bunch of smartly called offensive plays. Moss caught a TD pass. It felt good to feel normal. But then I saw that the Pats were only winning by 4, and realized I must be whacked out again. I thought I was coming back around when I saw multiple Patriots grabbing Eli’s jersey and he was running for his life until he threw a ball up for grabs. I quickly tripped out again and David Tyree made this ridiculous catch. That is when I knew someone must’ve slipped me something. I was so gone that I thought I saw the Giants win on an Eli TD pass with :35 seconds to go!
I woke up the next day still not able to recall the Patriots Super Bowl victory. I went to the sportsbook. For some reason I had not cashed in all of my Patriot bets. I handed over all the tickets to the sportsbook agent. Why isn’t the Mirage giving me back any money in exchange for all of my Patriots bet tickets?